Body Guard

It was interesting to see so much happen behind her eyes but not knowing what I could do to bring it out of her. I wasn't supposed to even say anything to her, let alone condone her being here. Still...I couldn't stop her and that was going to be my excuse.

"You didn't have to bring me anything...you probably shouldn't have in the first place." I leaned forward though, setting aside my meal for now to poke through what she'd brought. The handheld game seemed interesting enough, but I'd never used one before. It was set aside in favor of the books themselves. I'd yet to have the chance to read them, even after going out and buying them along side her.

"I'll hold onto the clothes, but I can't wear them until I get released."

Taking up my lunch again I looked at her and smiled, "Thank you though. You are too kind."

Julie:
I nodded and smiled at him. "Of course, no need to thank me," I said. I would be thanking him until my dying breath for everything he had done for me. He had absolutely nothing to thank me for.

"Let me know if you need or want anything else and I'll make sure you have it," I told him.

"Did your doctors say anything about when you can leave here?" I asked, trying to sound interested an appropriate amount. Really, the answer would help me figure out how much time I had to sort through his contract. The whole thing was currently in my bag and it was so much bigger than the few pages he had allowed me to see. I was dreading going through it all but i needed to know what i was up against.

“They want to run tests on my spine and legs. See if they can do anything to accelerate my chances at walking again.” I paused in my eating to look at her, “Plus I still need to heal. If it wasn’t for the drugs right now...I’m sure I’d be a whimpering ball of pain.”

Thinking for a long moment I shrugged. “I haven’t heard anything but usual length of stay for a gunshot wound with surgery is thirteen to fourteen days. I’ve been here for what...two? So twelve days.”

Julie:
I nodded and considered my timeline. If I was generous and gave myself two weeks to work out his contract, I figured that was plenty of time. I just had to get the lawyers on board. If was persuasive, I could do it.

I thought about my scraped knees and black eye. That's what I had walked away with. And he might not even walk. He was stuck here for weeks with little to look forward to when he got out. I swallowed hard against the guilt that was stuck in my throat and pushed my hair behind my ears.

"At least you have a nice nurse," I said, weakly, struggling to find a silver lining.

I focused on finishing my meal while she seemed to ponder it. I kept an eye on her though, noting the guilt that seemed to stick around and linger on her face. "And a good friend who needs to stop looking like a guilty puppy."

Setting my tray aside I sighed and clasped my fingers together. "Look. I know you and I know you blame yourself for what happened. But what's done is done. There is no need for you to beat yourself up over it. I'm not dead. I have a friend who is treating me very well. I'm going to damn work on whatever rehabilitation they need from me so I can get walking again. But I'm certainly not going to be happy watching you eat yourself alive with guilt."

Julie:
I looked at him with a frown, knowing he saw right through me. "You know I didnt leave without you on purpose right?" I asked. It had been something I wondered. Did he think I was mad at him so I left, knowing it would be more dangerous?

I hoped he knew I wouldn't have done that. "I really thought you were there. Which is stupid, because you never take a different car then me, but I thought that maybe you wanted space or something and it seemed possible. It was just a misunderstanding but I would never have left if I thought you werent gonna be there.." i was rambling again and tried to shut myself up.

"I wasn't informed at all. The Prince probably wanted time with you alone. A real date without guards, escorts, or people looking over your shoulders. I don't blame him. For wanting it at least." It wasn't really an answer to her comments. With a sigh I gazed up at the ceiling.

Taking a moment to piece together my thoughts I continued, "I think we were mad at each other. Mad, hurt, confused. It wasn't just me who built up a wall Jules. If I had to guess...I think you wanted a little break just as much as Ben did. From stress, worries, being followed everywhere. I don't blame you for anything that happened. And I barely blame him."

Julie
I took in his words silently and reflected. There was a part of me that wanted to say he was dead wrong. That I hadnt built up any walls and any confusion was his fault. But i was mad at him. I was mad that I couldnt have him. I was mad that he made it look so easy. I was mad he pretended, even for a second that we hadnt kissed.

Maybe there had been a part of me that wanted him to not be there that day. I couldnt handle another day with him following behind Ben and I, wishing it was him instead. I just wanted to be normal for one day.

"And how do you feel now?" I asked. Was he still mad, hurt and confused? "Are we okay?" i asked, my voice sounding tiny.

It was almost fascinating to see her face change with each emotion. I wouldn't have noticed it at all if I hadn't spent so many years watching her face, learning how she reacted. I couldn't help but stare. Her verbal answer wasn't really an answer at all however.

"I still feel trapped...I still don't get to make my own decisions. You aren't supposed to be here, I shouldn't have contact with anyone from the family..." I bit my lip then and looked away from her. "I can't ignore that we kissed anymore though..."

Julie:
I felt my face involuntarily heat up at his words and I pressed my lips together. I gave myself a second to take that in before a wave of guilt clouded over me. I should tell him about the contract...

"You shouldn't have ignored it at all," I told him, looking up at him. He wasnt looking at me anymore so I continued. "And don't worry about me being here. You can do whatever you. I got...special permission," I told him, hoping to ease at least some of his worrying.

Snorting I turned my gaze to her. "I'm kind of stuck in a bed, I couldn't get away even if I tried." I opened my mouth to keep going but ended up turning it into a frown. "Special permission?" Knitting my brows together I tried to think who she could have gotten permission from.

"Did your dad let you? But he's a stickler for rules." I shook my head slowly, "But if anyone could convince him it's you..."

Julie:
I smirked but it didn't reach my eyes. "Yeah, well for your information, I can be pretty persuasive," I said, not really answering the question.

"And like you said, you're gonna do whatever it takes to get walking again. Then, the world is your oyster. You can do whatever you want, go anywhere you wanna go," I said, a hint of bitterness clouding my voice.

"Jules..." The bitterness in her voice hurt. "I can't do any of that. It could take years before I'm able to walk, then years after that till I'm able to even get a job." I shook my head. "You have all the opportunity you could ask for and the means to go about it."

I wasn't sure where her bitterness was coming from. Couldn't even begin to place it. She had money, looks, her father had the position and power to get her into whatever world she wanted to be in.

Julie:
I sighed and shook my head. I didn't want to go anywhere, that wasn't my point. I just didn't want him to go anywhere either. I sighed and set my elbows down on the edge of his bed and put my head in my hands. I was exhausted and taking it out on him, which wasn't fair.

"Yeah, you're right. I can have whatever I want," I said, trying really hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. There was one very important thing I couldn't have.

I frowned again. I was missing something here. Unable to figure it out I reached out towards her body, unable to quite get at her sides. "Listen. If we are both going to be mopey then I'm never going to get better."

Giving up I settled back down and sighed, "Since I cant tickle you to distract you from what's going on in your head could you do it yourself?"

Julie:
I lifted my head and fought a smile, shaking my head and rolling my eyes. "It's impossible to tickle yourself," I said. "And even if I could, I don't know what makes you think I would do it," I smiled fully and leaned my chin on my hand.

"Also, my being mopey has no effect on your heath status," I said. "What does have an effect though, is moving around...so stop it before I have someone tie you to this bed." I warned.

"That's your problem. I'm sure you could figure it out." I countered. Cracking a small grin after seeing her smile I reached over to pat her cheek. "I'm not afraid to call in my nurse to assist me. But no good ever comes from negativity around a sick person. Tell me one time where that's worked. Or have I been lied too all these years?"

Raising an eyebrow at her threat my grin only grew. "You want to tie me up in bed? Kinky. Is our safeword still pickles? Which still sounds like a euphemism."

Julie:
I laughed and swatted at his hand that was patting my cheek. "Oh shut up about the safe word!" I said. "I didn't say I was gonna tie you up. I said I was gonna tie you to the bed." I countered. I wasn't sure if it was different, but I hoped it would drawn attention away from my ever reddening cheeks.

"And I'm sure your nurse would be on my side. She did say that my boyfriend was a cry baby," I smirked. She hadn't used those exact words but she had referred to him as my boyfriend.

"Unless I was out of it, that is not what she said! And you started the safeword! I'd pick something not as obvious for a safeword......" I paused and took a long moment to think, but everything that came to mind only sounded far worse of an innuendo than 'pickles'.

"Okay so maybe pickles isn't that bad. But I don't think just tying me to the bed is much better. In fact I'm sure that would be easier all around." I didn't contradict one of her statements however. It was probably going to be two on one in her favor.

Julie:
"Maybe you were out of it! Because thats what she said," I giggled and shook my head again. "And pickles is a totally innocent word. Just because you twisted it up in your dirty mind, doesn't mean I have anything to do with that," I said.

"And what exactly would tying you to the bed be easier for all around?" I asked. "Do you have some kind of weird fantasy?" I smirked.

"I have plenty of fantasies, most of them normal to most people who have passed puberty. I'm not the one who decided we needed a safeword." I countered. It felt so easy to fall into our usual banter. So easy to forget that this was a hospital we were in. So easy to forget all the past troubles and the rift that had grown between us.

My body did it of it's own accord. I simply couldn't help getting a little teary-eyed and there was a catch to my voice as I smiled softly at her and murmured, "I've missed you Jules."

Julie:
I giggled again and was ready to come back with another retort when I watched his face change. My smirk faded until it was just a relaxed smile. "I've missed you too. A lot." I said, back. It was an odd thing for two people who had seen each other everyday for months to say to one another. But I knew exactly what he meant. For weeks, we hadn't been ourselves. There was this distance between us that seemed to be dissolving the more we talked. It felt good to have my best friend back.

I heard his voice choke up a little and I bit my as my own eyes filled a little. I knew my question from before was answered. We were okay.

"Look at us. Maybe we are cry babies." I scrubbed at my eyes until no tears remained. We were okay for now. It didn't help the future, but I pushed such things out of my mind. That was a problem for another time. "Hey, I hate to ask but next time you visit could I borrow a laptop? Just not yours. I'd be too tempted to snoop."

Thinking about the future had me wondering about other things. State of the world, resumes, how life was going outside of this hospital bed. Perhaps even advice on recovery. When I was her bodyguard I'd never gotten myself a laptop. My contract stated I got no pay. I didn't make a since penny from the work I did for her family. Both my father and I were the only ones to get nothing for the work we did. However we did get one benefit the others didn't. We had access to the funds to purchase almost anything we wanted. Sure we had to write an expense report, but we had access to more money then we could ever use. But I never bothered using it to get myself more than a few things every now and then. Usually I'd used it on Jules. But she had access with out limits to buying things.

Julie:
I grabbed a tissue off the bedside table and blotted at my eyes and breathed out another laugh. I was a little surprised that he asked for anything at all. He never did. But I was glad, more than happy to help in any way he would let me.

"Of course. Although you are a grown man and snooping should not be a problem," I stopped to give him a playful glare and then continued. "I can absolutely do that." I told him. I wouldn't go out and buy him one, I hadn't gone anywhere except the hospital since the shooting, but maybe I could tell Greg what I wanted and he could run to the store for me.

"Is there anything else you want?" I asked, hoping the laptop might get the train rolling and he would let me help with other things as well.

"Listen. I'm not above snooping. Or curiosity. Once upon a time when you weren't so good at hiding your diary I used to take peeks inside it." I smiled then laughed softly, "I don't know if you stopped or just changed your hiding place between your mattresses....damn I haven't looked since I couldn't find it when I was what ten?"

I pondered for a moment, shrugged, then shook my head. "Ah well. No I don't think I need anything else...not right now at least." Returning my gaze to her I cocked my head, "Is there anything I can do for you? I'm kind of limited but if its in my power..." I trailed off with a helpless shrug.