University Roommates (Restart)

Emily:
I squeezed her hand and sniffled. "A part of me wants to stay here. To be here, surrounded by all the memories and be closer to him." I told her. "But not yet. I can't right now. I'm not strong enough to handle it right now," I said.

Tasha:

I nodded. “I know, Em,” I said. It would be best for us to be together, I thought. Ash would have to go through a trial. It would do us no good to wait around for it especially when it could take months to find out what would happen to him. It wasn’t like there was hope for him to get off.

Emily:
"Are you going to go see him?" I asked her. I wasn't sure I could handle a visit myself. Not sure I would even be allowed. But I ached to know if he was okay, how he was doing. I missed him.

Tasha:

I looked at my lap. That wasn’t something I wanted to tell her about. “No…” I pursed my lips hoping that I wouldn’t tear up. I had to be strong for her. “He doesn’t want to see family. He only sees his lawyer when he has to. He didn’t even want our parents to hire a lawyer, so that much is a step up.”

Emily:
I frowned and my heart sank. He was past the point of even accepting something as simple as comfort from his family.

"I can pack my things and be ready whenever you want to go." I said, after a long pause. It was time for me to start the process of moving on. He had.

Tasha:

I nodded. “Okay, I’m going to check the mail,” I said and gave her shoulder a squeeze before I left. I walked down to the row of mailboxes at the end of the street. I knew before I opened it that it would be packed full of mail. It had been over a week since Emily and Ash had been there, and knowing them, it would have been a while since they checked the mail.

With effort, I pried the bundle out of the mailbox. I leafed through it to separate the advertisements from the actual mail. I paused at a large envelope addressed to Ash.

I took the mail back to the house, set it on the table and opened the big envelope. I wouldn’t normally open mail that wasn’t my own, but this was extenuating circumstances. I pulled the sheet of paper out and had to double check that it was in fact meant to Ash because it was addressed to Emily.

It was from a publisher saying they had read her manuscript and they wanted to publish her book. I didn’t read anymore, instead I called out to her. “Em! Come here!”

Emily:
I heard a frantic tone to Tasha's voice and I moved quicker than I thought my still sore body could until I saw her at the table, holding a peice of paper.

I allowed my heart to return to a normal pace at the sight of her. It would probably take some time before I got over the attack and being in the house didnt help. There were so many reasons that moving was a good idea.

"What is it?" I asked, moving closer and peeking over her shoulder at the mail. It looked like mostly junk and my eyes scanned the paper in her hand before I did a double take. I gasped and grabbed the paper, looking it over more intently.

It was impossible. Must be some mistake. "I didn't...I hadn't sent another publisher my book," I stuttered, confused. I grabbed the package and looked at the label and finally understood.

"Oh my god." I mumbled, pulling out one of the chairs to sit down before my legs gave out.

Tasha:

I sat down next to her. “What is it for? Did you send a book in? I didn’t even know you were writing a book!” I said in amazement. I knew she wrote children’s stories, but from the looks of it this was something much bigger.

Emily:
"I finished this months ago, but when I sent it in to my publisher, it was rejected," I tried to explain, staring at the paper in my hands like it might vanish if I looked away.

"I got upset...threw it out." I told her. I shook my head and pressed the paper against my chest. "He must have saved it and sent it to different publishers." I mumbled.

"I can't believe he would do this..."

Tasha:

I couldn’t believe it either. He truly cared about her, that much was clear. I hugged her then, careful not to squeeze too tightly. “This is great Em, you’re going to get a real novel published!” This was the best gift he could have given her. Something to push her life forward. Something to occupy her. It was almost as if he had planned it.

Emily:
I smiled for the first time in what felt like years at the word "published" and threw my arms around Tasha, squeezing her as tightly as I could.

This had been my dream for as long as I could remember and having it become a reality was almost too much to take.

"I can't believe this!" I said, pulling away to look again at the bound pages in my hand. "I can't believe it..."

~Months Later~
Tasha:

Emily did end up coming to Belize with me.  She taught young kids how to read and write.  She was good at it but I didn’t think it would keep her here for much longer.  Her novel was going to be published soon and her agent was already asking if she would write a sequel if it did well.  

I knew everything that happened with Ash still weighed on her, but she seemed better.  It was a hit for both of us when he had been convicted.  Ash was in prison.  I hated the thought, but it was some comfort that he was at least alive.  He had written me a couple letters.  He seemed to have accepted his lot in life.  Maybe years from now, he would get out and be able to start over in life. I sure hoped so.  

I hoped too that Emily would be able to move on with her life.  I ran a finger over the envelope in my hand.  It was addressed to Emily.  The first letter he had sent her.  I wondered if it would be a good idea for her to read it.  It had been a good week, I didn’t want to end it on a bad note.  

I thought about keeping it, and not giving it to her.  Or perhaps reading it and deciding then if I should give it to her.  But that was wrong.  It was her letter. She should do with it what she wanted.  So, in the end, I gave it to her.

Ashton:

Dear Emily,

I’m sorry I haven’t written to you before now.  I didn’t know what to say.  Or if I should say anything.  Sometimes I wish nothing had ever happened between us, for your sake.  Sometimes I wish I never existed.  But I do, and they did.  And these past few months I’ve been replying every moment I ever spent with you in my head, just to get me through each day.  I don’t know what I would be like now, if I had never been with you.  I really, truly loved you.  
You are the highlight of my whole life.  I wish I could have met you sooner.  I wish I could have met you before things went bad.  I would be a better person.  I sure as hell wouldn’t be where I am now.  I would never have let you go.  
I’m so sorry, that I didn’t meet you sooner.  I’m sorry I brought so much strife into your life.  I’m sorry I put you in danger.  And I’m grateful…  I’m so grateful that I was able to have you for a little while.  You made me forget that I was bad.  You made me think that I could be a good person.  I’m going to try to be.  Even here.  I’m going to try to be the person you saw in me.  
Anyways, Tasha told me that your book is going to be published.  I knew it would be.  I knew that when I sent it off that somebody would want it.  I’m happy that I was at least able to do some good for you.  Please don’t ever give up on yourself.  You didn’t give up on me.  You deserve the same determination.  In fact, you deserve better
I want you to move on.  You have done as much for me as you could.  Now the best thing you can do for me is to take care of yourself.  Live a full life.  Never stop writing.  I want to read more of your work someday.  I know you’ll be great.
I’m not going to write to you again.  And I don’t want you to write back to me.  I just wanted you to know that our time together still meant something to me.  Even when I tried so hard to make you give up on me.  But it’s time now to let me go.  

Love, Ash