Perfect School

Michael:

"We..." I glanced at my wife and saw her discomfort, the unease. So I changed my words. "I wanted to get to know you better."

"Why?" She bluntly asked.

"Because you are our daughter. Because we are your parents. I know you heard terrible things yesterday bu-"

"But nothing Michael. I am not a puppy. I won't sit up and beg when you ask of it. You can't put someone in a window and expect it to be there at your convenience. Krissy has already made her intentions known. I might share your blood but I am not your daughter."

Krissy:

Her words stung more than they should, despite them echoing what I had said yesterday.  Maybe it was because it was directed at Michael.  

“This wasn't supposed to happen, you know.  We didn't choose to give you up.  We didn't abandon you.  We had no idea you were alive until yesterday,” I said, leaning against the opposite wall.

 I had never mourned her, I realized suddenly.  I had mourned the life Michael and I would have had with a child, but I had never mourned the loss of my baby.  Maybe that made me a horrible person.  I touched my stomach subconsciously where the scar laid under my shirt.

Kira:

"So either you lie, or the one who has looked after me is lying. I'm sure you'll forgive me if I don't believe your words. After all, what have you shown me that I should trust you?" I glared from behind my mask at Krissy. "You cut me out of your life then, and now that you have a chance to see what I am you want to what? Find absolution? Please. What pathetic assassins you are."

Krissy:

"We aren't assassins," I said. "We left that after the accident that lost us you. That kind of life isn't really living." She was so cold. There was nothing alike between us, how was I supposed to connect with her?

Slowly I cocked my head as I looked her over. A snort was my first reply. "You lied right there. You miss it don't you." My eyes narrowed as I looked between them both. "He was the better one, but you were the one that enjoyed it. Either the power or just punishment you could enact. I doubt it was you who really decided to leave that life."

Krissy:

I crossed my arms. She wasn't wrong. If I had my way I would have continued, even now I had moments where I wished I could get back into it. But if there was nothing else to keep me from it, my health would have supported me.

"Do you enjoy it?" I asked her. I couldn't loose my temper with her, not after what she had heard yesterday.

"Oh? Does my opinion matter? You didn't want me. You would rather have terminated me in the womb. I am just a toy that you didn't want and once you were able to get at me you sneered at how the toy had been used already." I glared at her, "Don't pretend you care. It's a waste of time."

Krissy:


I dug my nails into the side of my arm as she taunted. "I didn't what you to be like this. I never wanted this for my child," I said, trying to keep my voice as calm as I could, but there was a definite edge to it.

"You didn't even want a child." I sneered back. "Such pretty words, but lies all the same."

Michael:

I frowned as I glanced between the two. If I had any doubts about her being our child they were gone now. The way she stood, that rage that bubbled beneath the surface, how she was inches away from just yelling. It was all Krissy. It was quite an odd experience to experience a smaller form of Krissy wearing my appearance.

"Kira...it's not..." The girl thrust a hand up to stop me. But she never looked away from Krissy.

Krissy:

I felt something crawling down my arm and brushed it away to find that it was blood from where I had broken the skin with my nail. I looked down at the red on my fingers. "No, I didn't want a child, because I was afraid of this," I gestured to her. "You're my worst nightmare realized."

She may have shared my genes, but she wasn't going to ever be my daughter. She made that very clear.

"So this is as far as it goes then. Kyra tried speaking to me about family, how much things would change for me. Seems I get to tell her I was right at least." Pushing off the wall I moved to the center of the room. "Then perhaps you should go back to sleep. Go back to your perfect little life in New Zealand. Return to picking flowers and your own happiness." My eyes narrowed at her and Michael. "It's all your good for after all."

Krissy:

I watched her with slanted eyes. I wanted her gone, I didn’t want her to have anything to do with the twins. It only complicated things further. I wish we had never found out about her.

Kira:

I shook my head, "I thought so. You've made your choice clear." Moving to the door I grabbed the handle but Michael's voice stopped me.

"Kira. Wait. You don't have to believe me, you don't have to believe my wife. But we didn't know you were alive. Krissy was pregnant with you and she was stabbed in the stomach. She still holds that scar. She wasn't supposed to be able to have children. And yet she got pregnant with you. It broke us for a long time. It's truly what pushed us over the edge to leaving this life." I couldn't move away. I couldn't open the door. "I never knew my parents. I was born in a lab. An orphan with no one. I can only imagine the pain you must be going through...."

"Stop. Please." I whispered. "It's easier to hate. Easier to believe I'm not wanted." Grabbing onto the hem of both my shirt and sweatshirt I pulled it up my back to show the scar on my back for a few moments. "She isn't the only one with scars. But don't worry. I won't influence your life. I am nothing more than a tool to be used. I have my orders to learn from this school. But after lessons are done I wont influence your life. Deal with the nightmare Krissy. Soon enough you will have exactly what you wanted and I wont exist in your world." Without another word I grabbed at the door again and left.

Krissy:

I slid down the wall and hugged my knees to my chest, ducking my face under. I was a horrible person. I hated her, I hated everything about her, and that made me truly horrible.

"I knew nothing would come of this," I said quietly.

Michael:

I frowned at the door for a moment then went over to crouch beside Krissy. "Is that how you really feel?" I asked softly. "We've lost her now, and we wont ever get her back. We had yet to be parents until this moment and we failed." Slowly I sank into a sitting position and sighed.

Krissy:

My throat grew thick. "How could we do anything but? We aren't parent's Michael. We don't have a child. There's a girl who shares our genes, but she doesn't need us, she doesn't want us. She probably hates us now. It's better to let her go." I didn't look at him.

"How wrong you are...I'm sure she wanted us. I'm sure she could still need us. But Krissy...it wasn't her that made the first choice..." I murmured to my wife while drawing her close. "The second we considered that she shouldn't exist after knowing she did...we lost her. It's entirely our fault."

Krissy:

"You mean it's my fault," I said flatly. He hadn't been the one to say those things. He had been calm from the beginning. He wanted her. He had always wanted her more than I had.

"Are we not together Krissy? Your wishes are my wishes just as mine are yours. What kind of husband would I be if I didn't support my wife's choices?" I countered gently. "You said the words yes, but I also didn't stop you or correct you."

Krissy:

I looked up at him. "I don't think we want the same things here. I don't want to get to know her. I want her to go away. I don't want her to have anything to do with my family. Is that what you want?" I asked.

"You've always had Kyle. You knew who your parents were. I never had that choice. Sure I had Jack and Eb for a while...but...a real family? I never had that. Even at my worst. I still wanted to know who I was, who my parents were. I am sure she was the same. I wanted to show her what I couldn't have." I searched her face. "But what's done is done. We can't dwell on the past."

Krissy:

I wound my arms around his neck, closed my eyes and touched my forehead to his. "I'm your family now. That's all that matters," I murmured and pressed my lips to his gently. I kissed him with all the emotions I had felt including shame and sadness.

Kira:

I turned my face away and moved away from the door. I had been listening into their words and it was all that was said once I was away that broke me. Covering my mouth with a hand I found an empty room and pressed myself to the wall there, holding in the tears.

I can't break....I can't break...I have to hold it back...

Over and over I chanted the words, doing whatever I could to repair my broken walls and shattered mask. Maybe Jonah was right. Maybe I needed an outlet. But instead of taking his advice I took heaving breath after breath and swallowed it all back. In public I could keep up the mask perhaps. But in private it was becoming harder and harder.

Kyra:

I wanted to comfort Kira but I didn't know how. I thought she would think it was my fault the way things had happened because I had been the one to push her in this direction. I had told her how great our family was and now it seemed like I had been lying.

Andrew was ready to be moved by the end of the day. We said our goodbyes to our dad but we didn't see Michael or Krissy again. I was angry with them, so I didn't mind.

We were back home the next day and I had yet to be able to talk with Kira alone. When she did go off on her own I almost followed her but Andrew shook his head and went to join her himself.

Andrew:

"Hey," I said as I approached Kira. She somehow had this energy of a wounded animal and was all the more dangerous because of it. I sat down next to her as she cleaned the guns she had been using for target practice.

"Hi." I replied back, holding the barrel of my rifle up to the light so I could peer down it. I could see how the others tiptoed around me. And I also knew that they could tell something had happened. But I had no plan on sharing it with them, and so far everyone had been smart enough not to ask. My time at the range outside of normal practice had been sacred, much like my time in any given pool. For Andrew to have followed me I figured it would only be a matter of time.

"What do you want Andrew?" I wasn't going to beat around the bush, go through the motions of niceties. I simply wanted this to be over with so I could return to my relative peace and rebuild myself back from the ground up.