Naveen

Rina:

I was happier jut being back with Talon. I still had to spend much of my time during the day at the nursery because he had things to do. But I got to spend dinner through breakfast with him and it greatly improved my mood. I also got a tutor to teach me the Elvish. I didn’t learn from her as well as I learned from Talon though. It made more sense speaking with him. He spoke calmly to me whereas my tutor spoke quickly and only in Elvish.

Talon:

After breakfast I made sure she was settled in with her day before I went about mine. Things were growing tense atop and outside the walls. Creatures were coming closer, some against the wall itself. The beasts in the mists took on many different shapes, sizes, and characteristics. And ones that should have stayed within their territory were beginning to venture towards us.

It was troubling news, and I helped work on plans and rotations among the warriors and other guardsmen to strengthen our defenses and reestablish our training in what to do in case of a direct assault. When I returned to Rina it took me a little bit to come out of my thoughts and just enjoy my time with her again.

Rina:

Each night with Talon renued me for the next day spent apart from him.  If I hadn’t been wound up from the long days spent with the elves, I might have noticed how he was also agitated, but I didn’t.  I enjoyed my time with him, and I much preferred his help with washing to the elf maids.  And of course I returned the favor.  I could bare the rest when I got to curl up in his arms each night.

I tried to keep my work separated from my time with Rina, and it seemed to me at least that it was working out. We managed to spend some intimate time together, beyond the simple touching and fondling that our shared baths gave. I enjoyed those moments, and dozing off with her in my arms. They were a balm to the worsening situation. We'd been attacked lately, one of the monsters outside the walls attempting to scale and infiltrate into the citadel. One of my men had gotten hurt, but we'd dealt with it.

My counsil and advisors couldn't place why the beasts were so active, why they wanted inside so badly. But I had a gut feeling that was growing day by day. How long had it been since Rina had died? How strong was that pull? She'd attracted death and danger to her like a plague. But here there was little chance within the walls of anything terrible happening. So maybe because of her curse...the beasts wanted her.

Rina:

I had been here for a few weeks now. I was starting to show, but I was noticing another difference in my body as well; I was becoming less limber. No doubt it was from a lack of training. The elves had me do certain exercises but it wasn't the same. I was also itching to get my hands on some weapons.

When I voiced my wish, Ash and the others did not take kindly to the request. I tried to reason with them without getting upset like I had before, but they would not hear it. It would be too dangerous for the baby they said. I thought that was ridiculous. I had not injured myself during training in years. I knew how to handle weapons safely. After a day of pestering anyone who would hear me, one of them snapped.

Her name was Adele. She had never seemed to like me, yet she was one that was most often around me. "This isn't about you. You do not matter. Your desires do not matter. If you lose skills because of your pregnancy, then it is a worthy sacrifice. The safety and wellbeing of the child is the most important thing. That should come before anything else," she said.

My cheeks burned. "It does matter to me. But I am not an elf, I don't have the same time frame as you do-" I said but she cut me off, "Perhaps human children are not treasured the way Elvin children are. When you can have them so easily, what does it matter if you are not careful? But the child you are carrying is irreplaceable. That child is precious to us. So forgive us if we don't immediately accommodate you, human. Our priority is the child."

I didn't know what to say to that. My face burned with anger and embarrassment. They had never been quite so blunt with me before. And I hated that she was implying that I didn't care about my child, or that I was being careless with its life. When I was returned to Talon that night, my mood was black.

I was tired when I entered my chambers, even with the gift of the moon to ease aches and pains or even to restore energy there came a point when it just felt nice to lay down. I looked up from the couch I'd draped myself across when Rina entered. I smiled, feeling the days issues with the monsters dim simply at the sight of her. "Come here, I could use a hug." I called, sitting up and extending out a hand towards her.

Rina:

I went to him on the sofa and hug him, my body leaning into him. I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed. I was still deeply bothered by what the elf had said. I cared about my child. It was my child after all, not theirs. Mine and Talon's alone. I made the choice to come here. To say that I didn't care about it was simply not true.

Easing her into my arms I kissed her temple. "I missed you today." I murmured softly in her ear. Running my fingers slowly down her side and then back up. My other hand reached forward for a bowl on the small table beside the couch. Plucking a berry from it I tossed it into my mouth and then offered her the bowl to pick from.

Rina:

I took it with a half-hearted smile. "I missed you too," I said. I almost asked him if he would let me train on my own while I was with him. He had allowed other things that were supposed to be forbidden after all... But the words of the elf still echoed in my mind. What would she accuse me of then? "One of the elves yelled at me today..." I said quietly after a moment.

I could tell something was up when she barely smiled my way. Groaning in my head I shifted up and took a closer look at her. Something had happened to make her unhappy. Goddess knows what it could be. But I didn't have to ask what was wrong when she gave me the answer anyway.

"What happened? Why did they yell at you?" I asked after a moment. My lips curved into a frown.

Rina:

I looked down at the woven rug on the floor. "She accused me of not caring for our child. She said that I wasn't being careful enough, that the child isn't my priority," I said quietly. "And that isn't true. I do care. I want it to be safe. I wouldn't do anything to har it or put it in danger. I'm here in this place after all," I said 'this place' with a little more bitterness than I meant to.

“This...place?” I asked carefully. My tone went still, not quite flat in its carefulness. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what she meant. The rest of it was easy enough to picture. The matrons and nurses were very careful with the expecting mothers. Sometimes to excess. I could understand the frustration.

Rina:

I was quiet for a long moment. His tone told me I should tread carefully. "Well, it isn't what I would have chosen, if I had been able to. If it had been safe to do so, I would have stayed with our army until I was further along. Then maybe find a house in a small village with people I care about and who care about me," I said. "I came here because there was no other option. this is the safest place for us and our child. But I'm trapped here in this place, away from everyone I care about except for you, with people who are just waiting for me to have a baby then send me on my way." I didn't look at him as I spoke. I knew I was talking about his home, but I couldn't help that I felt this way about it.

My jaw worked for a moment. Tightening and untightening. "What would you..." I rubbed my face. "I understand Rina." Gently I extracted myself from beside her and stood up. Pacing for a moment I sighed and looked at her. "What do you want me to do Rina? You don't like being here. You don't like my people. You don't like my home. So what do you want?"

Rina:

I watched him pace without quite looking in his eyes.  I was still for a long moment after he spoke.  "I want to feel like a person instead of a means to an end.  I want to do the same things I've always done without being scrutinized with every move I make," I said.  I fidgeted with my hands in my lap.  "I knew this would be difficult, but I thought it would be physical, not emotional.  I just can't stand being trapped and monitored."

My shoulders fell slightly and I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I am unique among my people Rina...I'm one of the few who have spent any time among humans. The scrutiny the mistrust even the distance they keep from you is because of what you are. We are an old race, and our memories are the same. Many of them remember what it was like when we weren't trapped atop the mountain. Before humans drove the magical races out."

I spread my hands in a helpless gesture, "I can't force them to feel differently. I am not a dictator. And while yes I understand it's been hard, at least your stay here is more comfortable than the human castle."

Rina:

My eyebrows raised as he spoke and I finally lifted my gaze to look at him when he finished speaking. “Oh, I didn’t realize it was okay for them to hate me just because I’m not like them. See, I thought people of all kinds should be treated the same way,” I said, fury bubbling up in my veins.

“And I suppose you’re right, it is better here than at the castle. We were both mistreated there and neither of us could change it. But don’t forget half the reason I was there, half of what I was trying to do was help you and your people. I couldn’t do it because I was powerless.” I stood up from the sofa. “But you are the lord here. You don’t have to force your people to do something, but you could talk to them. You could influence them. You could do more than tell me I’m the problem simply because I’m human.” I huffed a breath and shook my head.

“You aren’t unique, Savien, you’re just as prejudice as the rest of them. Maybe you are the problem, if your race can’t ever let move on. Nothing will ever change if you’re stuck in the past.”

Damned if I do, damned if I don't... I thought as I simply stared at her. "Forget the past...yes the past should be forgotten. So be it Rina. I will let go of the past, let go of the time I spent as a slave. I'll let go of the history that trapped my people here. I will move us to be closer with all races." I bit back the impulse to tell her what was happening while she was just here. That her presence brought monsters to our walls. That if she had done as she'd wanted then a village would suffer for her desires.

But it was all my fault wasn't it. My ill timed words had cursed her. "Will that make things better?"

Rina:

“No, that wouldn’t make things better.  And you would never do that, not for as long as I live.  You wouldn’t do that for me.  You won’t even stand up to your people for me,” I said, my hands balling into fists.

“I just want you to do something.  I mean, I’ve been trying to change things.  I’ve been trying to make a difference for all races.  I put all of that on hold to come here for you. I’m useless here.  And you won’t even try to make a difference...”  My throat grew tighter as I spoke.  I felt so insignificant right now, not just to him, but to the world.  My whole life I had been trying to help people. I couldn’t even do that here.

My expression went stony at her words. This felt like an argument more than just the current problem. Was this how she really felt? That I didn't contribute anything to the cause of improving the lives of non-humans? My face turned into one of disappointment and I turned my back to her going over to the wall where I drew a bottle from the cabinet and taking a long drink. redoing the cork I only shook my head and walked out of the room. I had no words, nothing could be said after that insult.

Rina:

I stared after him, looking as if he had slapped me in the face. Him walking away proved that I had been correct in the way I was feeling. I clenched my fists tighter to keep my hands from shaking and then I went after him.

“Stop,” I said, grabbing his arm and stepping around to face him. “Don’t walk away like it doesn’t matter. It matters! You’re just like the rest of them if you walk away from this! Just like every elf, and human, and everyone else who blames the others for the problems and ignores that they have contributed to it! You’re just like them!” My voice was straining.

“I don’t want our child to be hated for what he is. I don’t want half the world to reject him for not being human. But I also don’t want him to ignore, or worse—hate, that he’s part human! If he grows up here that’s what’s going to happen, because they blame humans for all the problems. They don’t like me because I’m human despite that I have never done anything to harm them. And you allow it! You make excuses! Are you going to do the same thing with your son, or your daughter?” My throat was tight, my eyes burned with unsplit tears, and my hands gripped his arm fiercely.

"The sins of the child are not the sins of the parents. My people wouldn't blame our child. Even if human children were brought in, they would be raised and cared for like one of our own." I intoned in a strained voice. "Haven't done anything? Perhaps you haven't Rina, but what have you done then? What proof do they have beyond your actions here that you mean well? That you fight for them? I am one of the few who push for peace among my people. Most wish for freedom off of this mountain but would prefer seclusion from other races. Perhaps we have spent too long isolated, are too set in our ways. But how far should we bend Rina? At what point is it fair for everyone?"

I shook my head, "Maybe I am just like them too Rina. Maybe you are right about all of what you hint at. Maybe I'm a terrible leader, a terrible person, a terrible lover, and I will be a terrible father. But what makes you so much better?"

Rina:

I stared at him for a moment, my gaze shifting between his eyes before my hands fell away from his arm. I took a couple steps back out of his way. Always before I would have kept fighting, but I was tired now. Tired of beating against stone.

I turned my face away from him, my chest aching. I hated it here. Hated it. And then I felt a pang of guilt for that because the reason I was here was because I was pregnant. I didn’t hate my child. It was the only good thing in this situation. I put my hand on the small bump on my belly.

I stared down at her. I expected her to go on, continue on her rants and tirades. But nothing more came. Raising my hands in an exasperated shrug I started to turn away. Dealing with Rina was like dealing with a stubborn bull. She drove forward, uncaring about what lay before her or what got in the way.

Her small movements caught my eye however and I turned my head to regard her. Following her hands I noted her growing belly. It wasn't often that Rina looked vulnerable. And yet here she was. My anger was derailed, annoyances set aside.

I moved past her into the room and sank onto a cushioned stool. I settled my gaze on her once again and sighed tiredly. "What is it you want me to do Rina?" My voice was soft, showing more than just the weariness of our fight.

Rina:

I covered my face with my hands and leaned against the wall. I took a moment before I moved my hands and looked at him. “I want you to care,” my voice broke. I slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “A few months may not be long to you, but it is to me. That’s a long time for me to be doing nothing. I want things to change, and you just don’t seem to care. You don’t care that your people don’t like humans. Because you think we deserve it, for all the wrongs we’ve done? I haven’t done anything to your people, in fact I’ve tried to help them. What if humans change their views in a couple generations. Will you still be up here in the mountains, hating them because you remember when they treated you horribly?”

“I’m not one of you. I don’t have the ability to change their minds, but you do. I don’t want my child to grow up in a world where he’ll hate part of himself just because of the prejudices of those around him.”