University Roommates (Restart)

Ashton:

"Yeah, well you were a bit preoccupied with Nick's face so..." I shrugged and sauntered over to the living room. "I liked your friend though. She helped me realize some things. Can't remember her name..." I leaned against the bar. I was wide awake.

Emily:
I frowned and sat up a little and looked at him. "I wasn't preoccupied with anyones face..." I said, taken off guard by his tone. Something seemed...off. I stood up and walked a little closer. "Ash, are you okay? What did Taylor help you realize?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Ashton:

"Taylor! That's it! And, you know, just some stuff about myself. And you. We talked about you a lot. Almost entirely in fact." I hummed a short note and looked around the dark room. "So you didn't hit it off with Nick then? It looked like you did. You sure seemed to enjoy dancing. Tay...? yeah... Talyor seemed to think you weren't into him. But who knows if you can trust her, right?"

Emily:
"You talked about me? What about me?" I asked, still searching his face. He wasn't acting like himself at all. "I wasn't into Nick, Ash...It would have been obvious if you stayed long enough to say goodbye," I told him, trying to subtly move closer so I could see his eyes better.

Ashton:

"I didn't especially want to see any more. I had places to go. Besides. I didn't want to interfere. You deserve to be with someone good. Even if I hate it," I said with a little shake of my head. My fingers drummed on the countertop lightly.

Emily:
My eyes followed his hands and I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "Ash...What did you do?" I whispered. He was talking too fast and not making sense. I knew what he did, but I needed him to say it.

Ashton:

I laughed. "You know, I had this stupid plan to get you to realize who I am. I could've just told you..." I laughed louder. God, it was hilarious. "No, you would never look at me the same... I can't tellQ..." I heaved a sigh. "I had this plan. But you know what? I'm allowed to be happy, damn it. That's what Taylor said, anyway. I didn't believe it until now." I stepped up close to her. "I'm tired of holding back. That doesn't make me happy. I'm tired of restraining myself... I've been holding on by such a thin thread anyway. I'm done with that shit. I'm fucked anyway, so what's the point?"

Emily:
I didn't understand what he was talking about. He wasn't making sense. What did Taylor tell him? What plan was he talking about? "Ashton, just stop for a minute, okay?" I said, trying to speak softly. I knew this wasn't him right now, but I also knew that even sober, he thought he was fucked. He was so close to me so all I had to do was reach out grab his hand. "Can you tell me what you took?" I asked. I needed to know how bad it was. What if he took too much and needed to go to the hospital?

Ashton:

I laced my fingers with hers when she reached for my hand. "It doesn't matter. That's not the point anymore." I looked in her eyes and sighed. "I had like six drinks. I smoked a few cigarettes, and then I smoked some ice. It's nothing, alright? I've done it a million times. It wasn't even a lot. Don't worry about it, okay?" I squeezed her hand.

Emily:
I knew we couldnt talk about it until he was sober. Nothing that I would say now would get through to him and anything he might say wouldnt mean anything. I dropped his hand and stepped forward to wrap my arms around his waist to hug him. Before he could push me away, I started talking. "I think you should go to bed now. But in the morning, I'm still gonna be here and we're gonna talk about it, okay?" I whispered against his shirt. "I'm gonna worry about it because I care about you"

Ashton:

I wound my arms around her and laid my cheek on the top of her head. Her hair smelled like flowers. "There's nothing to talk about. Emily, I'm serious. I'm alright. I'm more than alright. And I'm wide awake. I wouldn't be able to sleep if I tried.

Emily:
I didnt like how unbothered he was. He had worked really hard to be sober for as long as he was and I had a feeling that when it wore off, he wasn't gonna like himself very much. I had to pull myself away, shocked that he hadn't pushed me away himself. "Then why dont you go sit down? I'll get you something to drink. Are you hungry?" I asked, not sure if eating something with help to sober him up. I felt totally out of my element and i didn't know what to do.

Ashton:

I didn't like that she pulled away and attempted to keep hold of her. My hands slid down to her waist. "I'm not hungry... I ate earlier," I said. It was technically true, I had eaten before my shift had started at the club.

Emily:
"Okay," I said, nodding. His hands on my waist were messing me thoughts up. I knew there were other things I said, but I couldn't remember. "Water...do you want something to drink?" I asked. My hands were resting on his chest from when I started pulling away but didnt quite make it.

Ashton:

"Nah, I told you," I murmured pulling her back against me. I ducked down and nuzzled into her neck. "I'm fine, Emily. I told you there's no need to worry. Just enjoy it," I whispered against her skin before I opened my mouth to suck on it lightly.

Emily:
I gasped and my hands shot up to his hair. For a second, I forgot why we were even in this position and I tilted my head to give him more access. "Ash..." I mumbled. I opened my eyes and let out a shaky breath. This wasn't Ash. Ash wouldnt have touched me like this is his life depended on it. I let go of his hair and gently pushed him away. "Ash you don't want this..." I said, biting my lip. "You're not thinking clearly."

Ashton:

I wasn't going to force myself on her if she wanted to push me away. I would, however, try to talk her into it. "God, Emily, this is all I want. I'm thinking more clearly now than I have in a while. I told you, I'm done trying. You think I don't touch you because I don't want you? You're all I want. You're the only person who makes me feel anything. You're the only thing that makes me truly happy and I'm done trying to fight it." My heart was racing, and it wasn't entirely from the drug.

"I'm in love with you. I have been since you first made me smile. You think this is the meth talking? Because it isn't. I just feel like I can say it now because I'm done trying to stay away from you. I'm done making myself avoid you. You're all that I want," I said and every bit of it was true.

Emily:
I had waited so long for him to say something like this to me. But now all I wanted to do was cry. "If all that is true, then say it to me in the morning," I said. He had been saying for months that he didn't feel that way about me and he had pushed me away the other night. How was I supposed to believe this wasnt the drugs? "Don't say it to me like this..."

Ashton:

I shifted to be closer to her and brought my hands up to her shoulders. "I will. I'll say it every day. This is how I feel, Emily. This is me. I'm done resisting it," I murmured. I didn't want to force myself on her, but I also couldn't keep my hands off her. One hand slid up her neck to cup her cheek and stroke her jaw line with my thumb like she had done to me before. The other hand glided down her arm to twine with her fingers again.

Emily:
I couldn't help tilting my head futher into his hand. I had waited forever to hear him say this and yet I knew tomorrow he would probably take it all back. I grabbed his hand tightly in my mine and stood on my tiptoes to press my lips against his cheek. "If I stand here any longer, ill do something we might regret. So i should go to my room..." i said, not wanting to leave. But i knew he needed a clear head and he just didnt have that rught now.

Ashton:

I hooked my arm around her waist when she came closer and held her against me. "Stay, please," I murmured. "I am more awake right now than I have felt in a long time. I feel so alive. I don't want you to go. I want to be here with yo. Here, right now." She was so warm and soft in my arms...

Emily:
I wrapped my arms around him and ran my fingers through the hair at the back of his head. "No... you're high. You're not thinking clearly." I whispered. But i still didnt let him go. Or push him away. I probably should have.

Ashton:

I gave a soft huff. "That doesn't change how I feel. It doesn't change what I want," I murmured. Letting go of her hand, I brought it up and cupped her cheek again. I leaned down until my face was just inches from hers. "Can't we just enjoy it in this moment now?" I whispered.

Emily:
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wanted to, probably more than I wanted anything, but I didn't want him to hurt me in the morning. I reached up and grabbed his wrist to pull his hand away from my face. I laced our fingers together and took a step back, pulling him with me. I kept going till I got to my room and then let go. I crawled onto my bed and pulled the covers back. "Come here," I said, reaching my hand out again. I couldn't keep fighting it tonight, but just laying together wouldn't be taking advantage of him while he wasnt sober.

Ashton:

I studied her for a long moment before I shuffled over to the bed. Taking her hand, I sat on the edge and looked down at her. "I won't sleep, you know. I told you. I'm wide awake. I'm not tired," I explained. Truth be told, the drug was beginning to wear off. It would be a few more hours still before I was completely sober, but the initial euphoria was fading.