University Roommates (Restart)

Emily:
I nodded. "I know. But I don't wanna leave you by yourself right now," I said. I know he said he was fine and that he didn't take too much, but he was high. What if he did something stupid? Well...more stupid. I tugged a little on his hand. "I guess you dont have to, but it would make me feel better if I could see you for the next few hours to be sure everything is okay." I said.

Ashton:

Was I really going to complain about being in bed with her? "Alright," I muttered as I kicked off my shoes and laid down on the pillow next to her. In the next moment, I pulled her against me and nuzzled my face into her hair. "You smell amazing," I murmured.

Emily:
I let him pull me closer and tried not to smile. "I havent even showered from the bar, I can't smell that amazing," I told him. I turned so I was facing him and laid my head on his chest. If he was gonna be here, I may as well get comfortable. And if he runs out of my room in the morning, then I'll have my answers.

Ashton:

"You smell like a flower garden." I traced patterns across her back and looked up at the ceiling. "You're amazing, Emily. I've never felt this way about anyone. I'm serious," I said and tilted my head down to look at her. Tucking my hand under her chin I lifted her face to look at me. "I love you."

Emily:
I loved hearing him say that. I just didn't love why he was saying it. I forced a sad smile. "Thank you for saying that," I replied, unable to say it back until I was sure he meant it. I reached up to grab his hand from under my chin so I could drop my eyes from his.

Ashton:

I sighed and placed my hand on her back instead. "You're worried I'm not going to be this way in the morning? I am too..." I admitted. "This is me, Emily. This is how I am when I'm myself. I don't have to think about the bad things... I can just be me," I said with a sigh. I knew she didn't like this part about me.

Emily:
"Do you think that you cant be you without the drugs?" I asked, laying my head back down on his chest. I picked at a piece of string on his shirt. Even with the certain distance I was keeping from him, I couldn't help but snuggle closer. He actually did smell nice.

Ashton:

I stared up at ceiling again. The high was definitely wearing off now. "It... helps me forget things. I can live in the moment without having my brain constantly scream at me that I don't deserve to be here..." My hand twitched away from her back. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Emily:
I frowned. "There are only ways to work through feelings like that," I said. "You can talk to someone...you could talk to me, your sister," I shrugged. "You dont let other people help you," I told him. My eyes were getting heavy now and I forced them open so we could keep talking.

Ashton:

I could hear the sleepiness in her voice and rubbed her back gently. I didn't respond right away and after a few minutes, I realized I didn't have to since she had fallen asleep. I laid awake for a while thinking about what she had said and wondering if I would ever be able to do it. To talk about it. after about half an hour the rhythmic sound of her breathing and the warmth of her snuggled against me lulled me into unconsciousness.

Emily:
When I woke up, I was surprised to see he was still with me in bed. However, he was sleeping and you cant run from the room if you're unconscious. I was nervous about what he would say or do when he woke up. My bladder was screaming at me, so very carefully, I untangled myself from him and the covers and made my way to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I washed my hands, I looked up into the mirror and frowned. On the side of my neck was the slightest shade of purple. I sighed and rubbed at it a little. Just another reminder of what he had done when he wasn't himself. I hoped it was small enough that he didnt even notice it

Ashton:

The movement on the bed stirred be but I stayed laying with my face in a pillow. The more awake I was, the more pain I felt in my head. After a minute I squinted my eyes open and took in what surroundings I could without moving my head. This wasn't the first time I had woken up in someone else's bed without knowing where I was.

Emily:
Before going back to my room, I stopped off in the kitchen and grabbed a glass of juice and an aspirin. I carried it back with me and when I saw he was awake, I hesitated. I set the juice down on the table next to him and held out my hand with the pill. "You should probably take this," I said, softly. I didnt know if he even remembered what he had said last night.

Ashton:

I looked at her for a long moment before groaning and turning my face into the pillow. "Fuck," I muttered. Everything from last night was coming back along with a pounding headache. I had been a monumental idiot.

Emily:
I sighed and felt my whole body slump as I closed my hand around the pill. I had expected him to not be happy about what happened, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. I set the aspirin down next to the juice and took a step back. "Yeah...I kinda figured that..." I mumbled, brushing my hands down my shirt self consciously. I could feel my eyes filling with tears which was stupid since I knew this was going to happen. I turned around and headed back for the bathroom so I could get myself under control.

Ashton:

"Emily... I'm sorry," I muttered, muffled by the pillow. In my drunken state last night I had thought that getting high would make her understand how I truly was. I hadn't taken into account that I would have different intentions once I was drugged. I had spilled out all my feelings for her. There was no way to recover from that.

Emily:
I closed the bathroom door behind myself let the tears spill down my face. I felt stupid for even letting myself hope that he might feel the same way about me. I grabbed a tissue and wiped at my eyes for a few minutes. Part of me was upset with him for letting me believe that he loved me and another part thought that it wasn't really his fault. He had been high and maybe didn't realize what he was saying. I allowed myself a few more minutes to be sad before I pulled myself together. I still needed to talk to him about the drugs and I couldnt have my feelings getting in the way. I took a few deep breaths.

Ashton:

I rolled over when she didn't respond and found that she had left. Maybe it had worked after all, maybe she really was disgusted with me now. I put my arm over my eyes. It didn't seem like she was disgusted with me last night, but then, maybe that's because she was worried I would be sick or something.

Emily:
When I came out of the bathroom for the second time, I hoped my eyes didnt look red. I decided not to go back to my room and sat on the couch, figuring he probably needed a few minutes to wake up.

Ashton:

I stayed in her room for a while until I got the motivation to get up. I drank the juice and took the glass with me to the bathroom. I filled it with water twice and gulped it down even though it made me feel nauseous. Next, I climbed into the shower and laid on the bottom, letting the hot water run over me. I needed to get the drug out of my system as much as possible. I didn't get out until the water heater ran cold. I looked like shit. My eyes were pink with bags under them and my face was pale. I got dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants before stumbling into the living room where I assumed Emily was. I didn't sit down on the couch, but stood, leaning against the wall beside it.

Emily:
I looked up when he walked into the room and bit my lip. He looked like shit. "You should probably sit down," I told him, scooting all the way to the edge of the couch. "We should talk," I added. I didn't wanna talk about us or what happened last night. Just about him and the drugs. "Why did you take drugs last night?" I asked him, getting right to the point. "I thought you were doing really well"

Ashton:

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." I sighed and rubbed my face. "And I've been on the edge for a while now. Last night I just went over." I couldn't tell her that I had been on the edge because I had been trying so hard to stay away from her. "And..." I took in a deep breath. "In my drunken mind I thought it would make you see how I am..."

Emily:
Yeah, the hickey on my neck made things really clear, I thought sarcastically. "You already told me how you felt about me and that you didn't want anything more than friends," I told him. "And I didn't push it, so I don't know why you felt you had to go to such extremes..." I trailed off when I felt my voice getting shaky.

Ashton:

I leaned my head back on the couch and looked at her sideways. "I was an idiot. I acted on impulse. I thought... I thought that if I made you hate me that it would be less likely that I would give into my feelings. And that even if I did give in it wouldn't matter because you would hate me." I closed my eyes. "That kind of backfired I guess."

Emily:
"I dont even know what that means," I said, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "I think I've made it clear that I don't hate you and I never will hate you," I told him. I shook my head to clear it and looked at him, sadly. "What does this mean now? Are you gonna keep doing drugs?" I asked. I don't know if I could handle his feelings for me changing every night.