University Roommates (Restart)

Ashton:

I was silent for a long moment. "Emily..." I put my hands over my forehead. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be like this... But I also don't want to put this burden on you. I don't want to make your life worse because you're trying to help make mine better. I don't want to do that to you..." I said it quietly, and every word was like mashing on an open wound. I knew I couldn't do it alone anymore. What her friend had said last night was true. I needed help from those who cared about me.

Emily:
I listed to him and I couldnt help my heart breaking for him. I uncurled my body and quietly slid closer to him. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I dont care how many times you push me away, I'm not leaving," I told him, softly. I lifted my hand and gently ran it through his hair. "Just let me be here for you..." I mumbled.

Ashton:

My eyes were glossy when I opened them again. I couldn't keep this up where I pushed her away every time she got close to me. I groaned and leaned forward to press my face into her shoulder and wind my arms around her tightly.

Emily:
I wrapped my arms around him just as tightly and rubbed his back. I just wanted him to be okay. I sniffled against the emotion and shut my eyes. "I want to help you if I can. I just need you to let me," mumbled into his hair.

Ashton:

"I'm so sorry," I said in a shaky voice. If I was going to give in now, then everything that I had put her through had been for nothing. I had just been an ass for no good reason. "I don't deserve you..."

Emily:
I shook my head. "You deserve whatever you want," I told him. "But I do accept your apology, cause you did play with my feelings quite a bit, especially last night," I told him, honestly. "But I know you weren't in your right mind and now we can move forward," I said. I kept running my fingers up and down his back to get him to calm down.

Ashton:

I took in several deep breaths then got quiet. after a moment I whispered, "I meant it you know. Everything I said last night." My heart was beating quickly, a side effect of the drug, but what I said added to it.

Emily:
I froze in his arms and then pulled away enough to look at him. "What?" I whispered, taking a deep breath. He had said a lot of things last night but I couldn't imagine that he had really meant any of them.

Ashton:

I groaned when she pulled away and shifted more so that my face was pressed into her tummy. I hugged her tighter. "I love you..." I mumbled, muffled in her shirt.

Emily:
I looked down at him and sighed, "I love you too," I said, quietly. I had asked him to tell me he loved me when he was sober and he did. Granted, I wish he wasnt hiding from me while he said it, but at least he said it.

Ashton:

I squeezed gently when she said it back. I definitely didn't deserve her, but it was done now. After all this time I had made up my mind. I turned my head slightly to peek up at her. "you know what we should do now?" I asked quietly.

Emily:
"What?" I asked, laying my hand on his cheek and gently stroking his jaw with my thumb. A part of me was still waiting for him to take it back.

Ashton:

I gave a small smile. Physically I still felt like death, but mentally I was feeling better. I didn't deserve her by a long shot, but she made me happy. I would do everything I could to keep from screwing this up. "We should watch Harry Potter."

Emily:
I giggled and nodded. "Okay, if thats what you wanna do," I said. "I need to get up then, to set the dvd player," I said, shifting him over a little so I could do just that. I selected a movie and put it in and then went back to the couch.

Ashton:

When She got up, I dragged myself off the couch as well. I drank more water and took some allergy medication in hopes that it would make me drowsy. Rest and water were the best things for a meth hangover. When I returned to the living room, I sat down and gathered her in my arms again. I didn't want to let go of her.

Emily:
I hit the play button when he got back to the couch and leaned into him to get more comfortable. "Its weird that you're voluntarily touching me," I said with a smile.

Ashton:

"Would you prefer that I stopped?" I asked dropping my hands away from her a little. During the past week in which I had attempted to be completely neutral to her, we hadn't talked much when the TV was on. I was glad to see that it was back to normal.

Emily:
I laughed and shook my head. "No, I like it. If I didnt, I would have probably ended up leaving you alone in here last night" I admitted. I probably should have left him in here last night because I didnt want to take advantage of his intoxicated state. But I liked him touching me.

Ashton:

"I've wanted to hold you like this from the start, you know," I said, pressing my lips lightly to her hair as I watched the TV from the side. I trailed my hand down her arm until it found the smooth skin of her wrist and caressed it gently.

Emily:
I smiled and turned my head to look at him. "You should have. You know I wouldnt have minded," I said. His hand on my wrist was giving me goosebumps in the best way.

Ashton:

I sighed softly and leaned my head against the back of the couch. "I know. That's why I didn't," I said quietly. I closed my eyes, the medication was starting to take effect. "This isn't going to be easy you know," I said.

Emily:
"Maybe not. But if youre worried about it not being easy for me, then don't." I said, grabbing his hand. He looked tired and hungover. "Do you wanna go back to bed?" I asked him, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles.

Ashton:

"No," I said. I was worried that if I left her now that I would start feeling too guilty bout this. "I might fall asleep here, though." I peeked at her then closed my eyes again. "I should probably call in sick for work," I said opening my eyes to look around for my phone.

Emily:
I located his phone on the coffee table and reached over to grab it. I handed it to him and nodded. "Yeah you should call out. You look tired," I said. And there was no reason for him to be around drunk people right now. I shifted on the couch and turned to face him. I wondered if the hickey got any worse with time and hoped that it would start disappearing soon.

Ashton:

I thanked her and took my phone. Once I called into work, I explained that I was ill and that I would need someone to cover my shift tonight. I promised to take an extra shift next week to make up for it. I tossed the phone onto the cushion when I was done.

"He wasn't pleased, but he gave me the night off," I said, leaning back again. I wasn't a fan of the manager I had spoken with. He was likely to try to make my job more unpleasant to punish me, even though I had offered to make up the time next week.