University Roommates (Restart)

Emily:
"Yeah, you're here now," I told him, my eyes filling with tears before I could stop them. "But I cant lie and say I'm not waiting for you to do what you always do and push me away." I admitted. "I want you," I mumbled, answering his question. "But even when I think I might have you, you still keep my at a distance." I said. "I have a hickey on my neck and yet we havent even so much as kissed," I lowered my voice since we were still in a resturant. Granted, it was pretty much empty, but still.

Ashton:

I was rapidly realizing that this was the wrong time and place to be having this conversation. I would feel like the worst scum of the earth if I made her cry in public. I reached across the table to touch her cheek. "Okay," I said quietly. "Okay. I want you too... I want to be with you. I just.. Ah... This never goes well. My last-" I cut off and sighed in frustration. I was falling over my words and what I wanted to say. Thoughts of my last relationship and how disastrous it had been filled my mind even as I tried to shut it out. I tried to not to ever think about what happen.

"I just don't want to mess this up. I don't want to ruin you..." My hand slid down to her neck as I hung my head slightly and looked at the table top.

Enily:
I sniffled and grabbed the hand that was holding my neck and tilted my head into his touch. "I dont want you to worry about me like that," I told him. "Not if it's gonna keep you at arms length" I added, stroking my hand down his forearm. "I don't need protection from you. If I did, I would be in a lot of trouble, considering how many times I've practically thrown myself at you," I said, biting my lip.

Ashton:

I sighed again. “You never threw yourself at me,” I said softly. I didn’t know if that was a comfort that I thought that. Maybe I had missed the signs? “Emily, I love you,” I whispered and looked up to her. I stroked her cheek with my thumb. “I want to do the best that I can for you, I’m just not entirely sure how…”

Emily:
I smiled. It was the first time he had said that to me when he was both sober and not angry. "I love you too," I told him. "All i want is you to be here with me. Dont worry about the rest right now," I said. I had wanted to kiss him before, but now it felt impossible not to leap across the table at him.

Ashton:

As the waiter came up I was forced to pull my arm back so he could place our food down. There were a couple awkward moments with the waiter right there before he left us alone with our food. I looked down at my plate. I didn't know if that conversation resolved anything. I still didn't know how to fully make her happy other than it was clear she wanted a more physical relationship.

Emily:
I thanked the waiter and poked at my pancake with a fork. I smirked at my plate. "We probably should have had that conversation in private," i commented.

Ashton:

"I realize that now," I said with a little shake of my head. "I'm sorry about that." I cut a small section of my omelet and tried it. It was surprisingly good. After not eating much for the past couple days, my stomach was rather empty.

Emily:
"I started it," I said with a shrug. I took a bite of my pancake and reached for the syrup on the table. I drizzled a little on my plate and took another bite. Before long, i was full and pushed the plate away.

Ashton:

I paid for the meal after we were both finished. After our serious conversation, it had lightened up a little. Back in the car though, I got quiet. I turned the radio on again to ward off small talk. I thought about kissing her the entire time. It was the most I had tried to plan a kiss since I had been in high school with my first crush. After making this big of a deal out of things I could just kiss her, there was nothing special about that. I couldn't just grab her when we walked into the house. Thinking about everything only made me more nervous. It was ridiculous.

Emily:
I fiddled on my phone for the whole ride home and when we pulled up to the house, I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car. He got quiet in the car but he wasnt usually overly chatty so i didnt think anything about it. I was the chatty one out of the two of us. "We should probably go to the grocery store eventually so to prove to Tasha that we can survive without her," i joked

Ashton:

I came around to meet her on the walkway. "I don't see why we can't just live on cans of beans the whole time," I said with a little shrug but my lips quirked up. "I can go later if we come up with a list." I put my hand on her lower back as we walked up to the front door.

Emily:
I unlocked the door and stepped inside. "I can go with you. But my list is gonna consist of pop-tarts and ice cream," I said with a shrug as I put my bag down by the door and kicked my shoes off.

Ashton:

The strong urge was back now that we were alone. Now that I was positive that she wanted it. This wasn’t the right time, or place though. There was nothing romantic about an entryway. It was something that needed to be lead up to. I wasn’t an animal, I thought, I could wait.

Then she stood up from taking her shoes off. Her hair fell over her shoulders in just the right way. Her glasses had partially slipped down her nose. Her lips were perfectly round… I stepped up to her, sliding one hand behind her neck with the other going around her waist, and I kissed her.

Emily:
I had just stood up from slipping my shoes off when I felt him move closer. I looked up and my eyes widened when his hand slid behind my neck. When his lips touched mine, I melted. My hands went from his chest to his neck. I stood on my tiptoes to get closer and kissed him back. It felt like I had been waiting months for this and now that it was happening, I didn't know what to do with myself.

Ashton:

I pulled her body up against mine. She was so soft and warm, it was intoxicating. Her lips tasted like syrup. I couldn't get enough of her. After a moment I almost stopped but couldn't bring myself to. Finally, a minute or so later and I broke my lips apart from her. "I'm sorry," I murmured, my forehead leaning against hers.

Emily:
My arms were wrapped around his neck and my forehead was pressed against his. "W-why?" I asked, trying to get my breath back. I couldn't imagine why he was apologizing when all I wanted was for him to do it again.

Ashton:

I sighed softly. "I wanted this to be more special for you... There's nothing spectacular about kissing in the entryway..." I trailed my hand from her neck down to her lower back where my other one rested.

Emily:
I smiled softly and ran my fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. "Well I'm not complaining," I joked. "It was special to me," I told him. "Because you're special to me," I finished in a whisper.

Ashton:

I pulled her tighter into a hug and kissed her again, this time with less urgency. How I had managed to get such an amazing girl was beyond me. I didn't see what she saw, and I was scared that one day she would see me for who I really was. But I couldn't let go now.

Emily:
I smiled against his lips and kissed him back. I had been waiting so long for this, and now I didn't want to stop. After a minute, I grabbed the front of his shirt and walked backwards, pulling him along with me. When I got to the couch, I sat down and pulled him next to him. It was still a pretty gentle kiss, our mouths getting to know one another and it was perfect. I pulled back for a second and took my glasses off. "Sorry, I dont want to poke you in the eye," I giggled.

Ashton:

"Well it's better than me poking you," I murmured without thinking. Emily had that effect on me, it was easy to banter with her. Not only that, but I was in a state of little brain power as it was.

Emily:
I pulled away a little more, confused. "Poking me?" I asked. I vaguely remembered us on the same couch and me poking him. He had reacted...rather strongly.

Ashton:

"Nevermind," I answered quickly and kissed her again to keep her from questioning further. I cupped the side of her face and slid my other hand around her waist.

Emily:
I kissed him back for a second and then put my hand on his chest and pulled away. "Wait wait wait..." I trailed off with a smile, picking at the collar of his shirt. "What did you mean by that?" I asked more directly.