Twins of the Apocalypse (Kayla and I)

Nell:
"Find him, Nell. As much as I hate to do this to you - myself - to break you again, you need to return his memories. I know you've kept them from him." Azrael said and I nodded. Azrael's ghostly form healed me completely and smiled at me as if I were her daughter and not herself. When I closed my eyes, I felt her return to my body. I opened them and I was alone. I had to go through with what Azrael said and find him.
In past lives, he loved the sea. There was only one beach here so it seemed like a good start. Abaddon loved nature, not people. He thought nature was more reliable. So the beach was where I'd start looking.... or maybe not. Not today. I would wait to have myself - the only human part of myself - destroyed tomorrow. Then he would really hate me and our history would repeat itself. My love..... Why must it be this way? Why can't we see eye to eye?

Alex:

Eventually I took my shirt and shoes off and ran out into the water. I swam out a bit until I couldn't touch the bottom then just floated letting my mind go blank. I should have moved out closer to the beach instead of the city around Ell. I could go where I wanted be she tethered me down. I mentally shook myself forcing her out of my thoughts.

Nell:
I sighed and went to the park, leaning my head on a tree I was leaning on. I picked at the grass and tried to keep my mind off Abaddon/Alex. I wondered if I should go after him or something but then let go of the thought. I wouldn't go after him.
The sun set a few hours later then it was dark. I sighed and stood up. I checked my cell. It was 8:38 at night. My aunt would kill me. I sighed and started to walk home, running a hand through my blood-matted hair.

Alex:

Once it was dark and late I finally went back to my car and dried off. I started the drive home and on my way I saw Ell walking. I killed the headlights and slowed down, it was dark and my car was black so she wouldn't notice right away that it was me. I wondered if this was verging on stalking but figured since we had been together for so long just watching her didn't mean any thing.

Nell:
I sighed and pulled my bag higher on my shoulder.
"Alex... I'm sorry I kept our past from you.... I didn't want you to hate me... it only made you hate me more. I'm so sorry, Abaddon. I will always be sorry." I whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. Tears leaked down my face and I wished Azrael had left me with wounds so I would have another reason for crying on the street on my walk "home".

Alex:

A car passed shining light on her. She looked terrible and miserable, blood was still on her face and in her hair. I slowly drove up, turned the lights back on and rolled down the window. I was still topless and my hair was still wet as I said, “You need a ride?” the spots on her cheek that did have blood were streaked through with tear marks.

Nell:
I looked over, tired and defeated. Oh, like it mattered.
"You don't know where I live, Alex." I said, careful to use his human name. I tried to keep my stupid Italian accent out of my voice.

Alex:

“I drove you home the other day remember? Or had the rumors got to your head and you actually believe the storied I told?” I said tilling my head to the side.

Nell:
"No. Of course they haven't gone to my head. I'll always know the truth and you'll be clueless." I sighed and got in his car, wiping my cheeks off. I knew it didn't help my appearance but I couldn't help it. I didn't like it when people saw me cry. I hardly ever did so I didn't want people to see it.
I bit my lip and closed the door after I got in. I propped my elbow on the door and rested my head in my hand, looking out the window. I wondered if he ever could love me if we were just two normal teenagers. Probably not. I had acted shallow and vapid in school. I felt sorry for treating this clueless boy the way I had.

Alex:

I gritted my teeth. “I am not clueless. I may not remember our past as well as you do but I am not clueless.” I said annoyed.

Nell:
"Oh, really? Tell me what you remember," I said and cast him a sideways glance. I my expression wasn't annoyed or angry or anything. If it was anything, it was curiosity with a bit of sadness. I truthfully did want to know.

Alex:

I my hand tightened on the steering wheel. “Listen don't think you know me better than I do because you have memories I don't. I have changed Ell, not for better or worse, I am just different. I do not need to tell you what is in my head just to make you believe me, I don't care what you think about me.” I said flatly not looking at her.

Nell:
"I was honestly just asking. I wanted to know. I guess I was asking too much of you. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. I can't let you in again because once you get your memories back, you'll hate me again. So I just wanted to know what you knew out of curiosity. I didn't mean to make you upset," I said quietly and looked out the window.

Alex:

I sighed and glanced at her. “I am sorry I snapped at you.” I said quietly. “I don't want to know what went on back then, but it kills me that you are basing every thing off it. Why can't we let the past be the past?” I said ruefully.

Nell:
"Because our past comes back to haunt us if we forget it. If I forget it I'll be hurt all over again when you remember that you hate me and want to kill me. I'm just trying to keep that from happening," again. The unspoken word hung in the silence and I sighed. I looked at him, biting my bottom lip and looking at him sadly.

Alex:

“You can't let things go, Azrael!” I said loosing a grip on my temper. “So tell me then, why do you think I hate you so much? Why do you think I want to kill you? Because in this life you have been to say you hate the other! I can't hate you even if I try, even when you are acting so perfect and being so friendly to every one else! I can't get you out of my head, so please tell me why I hate you!” By the time I finished yelling we had reached her house. I groaned and leaned my head back closing my eyes and putting my hand on my forehead waiting for her reply.

Nell:
"When we started high school, I had no idea about any of this. All I knew was that we had to be together. That I needed you. I didn't care about anything else really. Then I started to get dreams. The face and name were always different but there was something the same. I realized it was you. For months I went crazy until Azrael told me. You have no idea how badly I wanted it to be a lie. I still do. Even though I have mostly all the memories, I still want to be with you - to hope for something different. I.... I saw you channel Abaddon when I was in trouble. I realized I couldn't let my guard down around you. Because this has happened ten other times. Where you haven't remembered and I've hoped that we can just live a happy life. But it ends the same. We can try, but I know how it'll end." I said and lightly touched his cheek with the backs of my fingers. I pressed my lips together and lowered my head so my red hair covered my face.
"Have a goodnight, Alex." I whispered and got out. I walked inside and shut the door. I walked to my room.

Alex:

I watched her go with pain in my eyes. I sat out there for a while until I hit the steering wheel with all the confined feelings I had and accidentally honked the horn. I went back home and after I was settled in I grabbed my cell and called Ell.

Nell:
I didn't even look at the caller ID. i didn't care who it was.
"Yes?" I answered, flopping on my bed and closing my eyes.

Alex:

“I am not going to school tomorrow, I need to get away from here. If you want to come with me be outside your house an hour before school starts. If you aren't there I will take it as you don't want to see me again and I wont be coming back here. Good night, Ell.” I said and snapped the phone closed and fell down on my bed.

Nell:
"What!? Alex!?" I yelled into the phone. I closed my eyes and wondered how he had even gotten my cell number. I knew I had to be there an hour before school. Maybe I could talk him out of it. I set my alarm and closed my eyes. I went to sleep.

Alex:

In the morning I took my time getting ready, I was prepared for her not to be there, and I figured if I was a few minutes late it wouldn't matter. I finally go in my car and started the drive to her house.

Nell:
I had done everything I needed to do in the morning and waited outside, biting the inside of my cheek. I was starting to wonder if he had lied. Why would he be leaving? He couldn't leave without me. I wouldn't let him, i had to stop him. He had to stay here... with me.
"You are a fool. Once he -" Azrael had materialized in front of me.
"I do not care. So what if he finds out?" I asked, looking down.
"If you truly believe that, you are mentally ill. If anything, he's changed from his past life but he couldn't be more like his true self. He looks like him mostly as well. You look exactly like I do aside from the hair. I've always loved red hair... But other than the outside appearance, you both are the same as we were on the inside." She said.
"Come back when he's going to kill me. Leave us be until then. I want to have at least one happy memory in this life." I sighed and Azrael made a face. She bit the inside of her cheek and nodded reluctantly. I closed my eyes and when I opened them she was gone.

(( bored... ))

Alex:

I pulled up and smiled at her thrilled to see her out in front of her house. I rolled down my window. “Hey, you with me?” I asked resting my chin on the door.