University Roommates (Restart)

Emily:
I frowned and shook my head. "You dont have to talk to someone if you dont want to, but Ash, you can't do it for me." I told him. It was nice to hear that I was a reason for him to stay sober and on the right path, but  I was concerned about his lack of things to live for. 

"Maybe in the future, you'll change your mind about professional help," I shrugged, not wanting to say anything to upset him further.

"And I've said it to you before...I'm not going anywhere," I told him softly. "No matter what."

Ashton:

I focused on her then reached for her and gathered her into my lap.  I held her close and kissed the top of her head.  “I’m sorry, Em.  I’m sorry for last night.  I’m sorry for worrying you.  I don’t want you to feel like I’m going to push you away.  It’s just hard to believe you’re okay with this,” I said honestly.

Emily:
I relaxed even further into his arms and wrapped mine around him. "You dont have to be sorry," I told him. "Im sorry that I get so clingy when things like this happen, but I honestly dont know what i'd do without you," I told him. I knew I shouldnt have tried to deal with his issues last night with sex, but the idea of him going into his room and pushing me away was too much.

Ashton:

“Lets just try to put it behind us, alright?” I said. I didn’t want to worry about it anymore. I especially didn’t want to make her worry anymore. I smoothed my hand over her back and kissed her forehead.

Emily:
I smiled softly at him and snuggled closer. "Youre not working tonight are you?" I asked, hoping he wasnt. I hoped since that girl saw him at the bar that she wouldnt make a habit of showing up.

Ashton:

“I am. I’m sorry. I wish I could just stay home with you. Or even go out with you. But I’ll make it up for you tomorrow. We can do anything you wish,” I said hoping it would lessen her disappointment at me working. I squeezed her gently in my arms.

Emily:
I frowned and nodded. He needed to work, I could understand that. Even if it pained me. "Can you just do something for me?" I asked. "When you get home, can you sleep in my bed?" I asked. "Even if its a bad day?" I mumbled. At least if I knew he would be with me at the end of the night, I wouldn't be so scared of him pulling away.

Ashton:

“Of course Em,” I said with a sigh.  I had slept in her bed almost every single night since the first time.  I wouldn’t stop now.  I buried my face into her hair and neck and kissed her skin lightly.  “Of course I will sleep in your bed.  Especially if I’ve had a bad day.  You’re the only thing that would make it better,” I said softly.

Emily:
I sighed softly at his words and gently rubbed his back and up to his shoulders. "Thank you," I said, tilting my head a bit at his kiss. I knew there was a pretty dark hickey on my neck from last night and I felt bad again about how I handled it. 

"You make me feel better too," I told him, honestly. He always knew just what to say or do.

Ashton:

We spent much of the day on the couch watching TV. When I had to leave for work I promised her I would text as often as I could and I would let her know when I was coming home. To be honest, I was a little worried about my ex showing up again tonight. At one point I thought I saw her outside. But it was all just me expecting to see something. My mind made me see things that weren’t there.

When I got home it was late enough that Emily was already in bed. I rinsed off in the shower then crawled in bed behind her.

Emily:
I was only half asleep when I felt the bed dip when Ash got home from work. I rolled over and reached for him with my eyes closed. "Hey you," I mumbled, wrapping an arm around him and leaning up to kiss his jaw. It was all I could reach with my eyes closed. 

"How was work?" I asked, finally feeling relaxed now that he was home.

Ashton:

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her sleepy lips softly. “It was long,” I murmured. “I’m glad to be back here with you.” I settled in and slowly moved my hand up and down on her back. I closed my eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of holding a girl in my arms.

Emily:
"I missed you," I mumbled. His hand on my back was sending me further and further into sleep and I snuggled closer. If he said anything after that, I didnt hear it because I was asleep.

Ashton:

“I missed you too Em,” I mumbled. I fell asleep not long after her breathing slowed. The lack of sleep the previous night and the long night at work made me sleep longer than usual. I slept past my usual morning run and was awoken by a banging on the front door.

I squinted and sat up slightly. “I’ll get it,” I muttered and kissed Emily’s forehead. “Go back to sleep. Probably some damn solicitor.” I found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on the floor and hurried to answer the door.

Emily:
I groaned at the loud banging and rolled my head into my pillow. "Make them go away," I moaned, stretching. I knew even if he made the noise stop, I was pretty much fully awake.

Ashton:


My heart stopped when I answered the door. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I hissed. It was my ex, Kristen. How she was here, at our front door, I had no idea. I started to close the door in her face but she put out her hand to stop me.

“Hey, I just wanted to talk, don’t freak out about it.”

“Did you follow me home?”

“I’m just here to talk Ash. You didn’t seem too happy to see me the other night.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Are you going to let me in? Or do you want to listen to what I have to say out here? In the open. Where anyone could over hear,” she said with a triumphant grin. My stomach churned.

“My girlfriend is sleeping,” I said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be quiet. As long as you cooperate nobody has to know anything.” She pushed the the door open. She was black mailing me. And there was nothing I could do.

I let her come in the entry way, but I put my arm up when she tried to move further into the hallway. “No, you say what you need to say here,” I hissed, praying to whatever god was out there that Emily was fast asleep.

“Fine. I know what you’ve done, Ashton. Unless you want me to tell your pretty girlfriend, or worse, go to the cops, then I think you’d better help me out. I need a little cash to get where I’m going is all.” My face darkened to disgust while she spoke. “I think five thousand will get me there.”

“I don’t have that kind of money to spare. And if I did, I certainly wouldn’t give it to the person who ruined my life.”

“I ruined your life? Really? I’m not the one who killed someone,” She laughed harshly, too loud.

The instant she spoke I moved to put my hand over her mouth and press her to the wall. “Shut the fuck up. You know perfectly well what you fucking did. You lying bitch,” I growled. It brought some sick sort of gratification to see fear in her eyes. It was my only advantage and I went with it.

“You made a mistake coming here. You made a mistake coming up to me at the bar. I swear to God if I see your face again, you will regret it.” I squeezed her jaw then let her go. I stepped to the door and opened it for her. “Now get the fuck before I have to make you.”

It was a huge gamble. All had to do was scream and Emily would be there. She would tell her everything and it would be over. But somehow it worked and she walked out the door looking scared for her life. I closed it behind her and pressed my forehead to the cold metal of the door. My hands were shaking. My heart was racing. It was a miracle I wasn’t throwing up.

Emily:
My eyes were just starting to close again when I heard a loud laugh. In my hazy, near asleep state, I realized that he had been gone way longer than it would take to send a solicitor away. But who would be here this early, giggling like that?

I sat up quickly, my mind automatically thinking that maybe Natasha was home early, or she was visiting. I didn't have many girlfriends and anyone who knew where I lived, knew it because they were friends with Tasha. 

I got up of bed and slipped on a pair of sleep shorts so I looked decent and made my way to the door, curiously. 

But I didn't find Natasha. Ash was standing against the door, looking white as a ghost, his whole body shaking. "Ash?" I asked, confused. "Babe, what happened?" I asked, rubbing the remaining sleep from my eyes. "Who was at the door?" I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Ashton:

I closed my eyes when I heard Emily’s voice. For a moment I was terrified that she had been behind me the whole time, hearing every word. Then she asked who it had been. I let out a shaky breath and shrugged her hand off. I couldn’t hide that I was distraught. I couldn’t avoid, or talk around the issue like I always had. I couldn’t lie to her. Instead I turned away from her, went down the hallway into my room, and closed the door.

It was over. I had to leave before it got bad or Kristen would ruin my life again. It was only a matter of time before she came back. She wasn’t just a black mailer, she was a druggie, and she needed money to feed her addiction.

I paced the room as I thought it through. Everything was bubbling up, the horror of it all. It was inescapable. In a moment of fury at it all, I put a hole in the wall and a nice, bloody gash over my knuckles.

Emily:
I stood in shock for a moment when he ignored me and went to his room. Pretty much the exact thing he told me he wouldn't do last night. I didn't even have a moment to follow him before I heard a loud bang. I jumped at the sound and without thinking, ran to his room. I didn't knock, I just threw open the door. 

Ash was standing next to a whole in the wall and his bloody fist was the clear reason for it. "Are you crazy?!" I shouted. "You're gonna break your hand!" I told him, shaking my head. I reached for his hand, wanting to inspect the damage. It was certainly bleeding an awful lot. 

"Damnit Ash, who the hell was at the door?" I asked, again. He wasn't walking away from me again without at least giving me that answer.

Ashton:

I pulled my hand back and squeezed it into a fist. It hurt and it blead more, but it focused the panic in my chest.

“Emily, I killed someone,” I said, monotone. It just came out. I couldn’t hide it anymore. I couldn’t bear to let her think that I was a good person anymore. It wasn’t right to her.

Emily:
It was like all the fight just left my body in one breath. I felt my hands stop reaching for him and drop to my sides, limp. 

"W...what?" I asked, softly. I felt a rush of something I hadn't ever felt around him before. Fear. I was scared. Not that he would hurt me or that he was dangerous. But I didn't understand what he was saying.

Ashton:

“I killed a man,” I said again, slower. I looked at her with dark eyes. My hand covered the bleeding one and squeezed but the rest of my body was stone still. I saw the fear flash in her face. Would she run? Would she call the police? Would she cry? I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything until I knew what she would do.

Emily:
My eyes searched his over and over again. It didn't make sense to me. "Why?" I whispered. "Wh-what happened?" I asked. I had figured that there was still something he wasn't telling me, but never in a million years could I have ever imagined that he would tell me this. All at once I felt overwhelmed and my eyes filled with frustrated tears. I closed my eyes and covered them with my hands. "Ash you have to explain it to me, I don't understand," I said, feeling pathetic.

Ashton:

I closed my eyes when she covered hers. She was probably still trying to rationalize how I could be the person she thought I was. Maybe she thought it was an accident. Maybe the thought it was self-defense.

“There is no explanation. There is no excuse. I killed him in cold blood. That’s it.” My voice was harsh. I backed away from her until my back met the wall. I leaned against in heavily. I had been pretending that I could get away from it. That I could be someone different. But that was impossible.

Emily:
The room suddenly felt like it was suffocating me. I turned and ran from his room and into mine where I slammed the door. I didnt know what to think or believe. It didnt make sense to me that he would kill someone in cold blood but if he didnt, why would he say it?

I let the tears out and sobbed into my pillow. I thought we were making progress