hm weird me....hell yes (open)

Jemma:

I moved so that my body was against him. It felt nice to be this close to him, just to be in his arms for the sake of it. I lifted my face up to his and kissed his lips softly.

My lips parted slightly in surprise when she scooted closer, and my heart gave a pleased extra beat as her lips met mine.

 

I felt a small twinge in her kiss but it was soon gone and my body relaxed into the kiss as she started moving her hand.

 

I smiled into the kiss when I felt her relax. It was good to see her relax, it made me happy to know she could actually relax with someone like me.

 

It was nice to feel her lips on mine, to feel her weight against me. I had lost track of how long we had been making out, but I didn't want it to stop.

Jemma:

I rolled on top of him and broke the kiss to look into his eyes, trying to read his mind through them.

My eyes opened slowly and I met her gaze with one full of mixed emotions. On one hand I wanted her, I was sure she could feel my desire. But at the same time I was guarded, but not against her. Against myself. She had sold so much of herself just to survive. I wouldn't force her, I wouldn't tell her my desires, I would wait. No matter how long it took for her to willingly want to do it. Not for survival, not to make me happy. But for her. If she chose to go that far because in her heart she wanted it...then I would happily take her.

 

My lips parted and I gave a slightly strangled sound. "Yes....and no....but...fuck...." I wasn't really sure what to say or think. I was silent for a few agonizing moments before blurting out. "Yes, a thousand times yes...but only if you want to Jemma." My heart and body screamed yes, though my brain tried to reign in the rest of me.

 

I could feel the lack of desire in her kiss and it made me hesitate into the kiss. But my blood ran cold and I pressed my hands to her shoulders, pushing her off and rolling away. I crouched, ears twitching in agitation as I fidgeted.

 

I ran my hands through my hair. "Not the....you wouldn't be the....first..." I said while refusing to look at her still.

 

I shook my head. "I have been with others...I'm sorry...I probably killed the mood right?" I smiled bitterly and got to my feet slowly.

 

I rubbed my face. "It was...Ira....my first..." I murmured before looking at her face.

Jemma:

I felt like I had been kicked in the chest. It shouldn't have hurt that much, but my heart wasn't reasonable. "I see." My tone was icy and my expression turned sour. I had no right to be jealous or mad at him, but my heart told me that he had left me to be with her, that he wanted her more than me, that he would have stayed with her if I hadn't killed her. It was horrible for me to think these things, my rational side knew that most of it wasn't true, but I couldn't see that. I got to my feet and brushed myself off. "How quickly you move on." I said before turning away to go back to the house. It was cruel, I knew that. Things like this were the reason he left me in the first place, but I wasn't thinking straight.

My head snapped up look at her face when the first icy words left her mouth. I saw the sour expression on her face and my heart sank. But nothing could have prepared me for when she stood and ripped out my heart with her words. "How quickly you move on." She said causing me to flinch as wave upon wave of emotions rocked through me. Hurt, Anger, Sadness, Despair. But it all faded away and I just felt numb. "I didn't deserve that..." I whispered as I hugged my knees and stared at nothing. My ears laid back on my skull, my shoulders slumped, and I could only feel the painful beating of my heart.

 
 
I had probably ruined things with Alex.  He wouldn’t want to be with me now, not after how I had acted.  He would leave for sure. 

I had lost Jemma once. Pushed away by her not seeming to want to be with me. I had lost Ira through her death right as I was starting to fall in love with her. I was hurt, wounded, scared for the future but I had found hope. Jemma wanted me. Or had. I had lost her again, and all my hope shattered with her leaving me again. I didn't move and only hugged my knees tighter.

Adam:

Jemma was curled up on the couch asleep when I came into the room. I didn't disturb her, only draped a blanket over her. As far as I was aware Alex never came back. In the morning Jemma walked right past me without a second glance. Her hair was limp, her eyes were red, and she was still unhealthily pale.

Jemma:

the sky was streaked with ealy morning light as I walked through the woods barefoot and hugging myself to preserve warmth. Alex hadn't come back last night, and I was scared that he had left for good this time. I padded toward the edge of the canyon where he had been last night.