hm weird me....hell yes (open)

Jemma:

I gave a startled jump at his voice. I hadn’t noticed him. I glanced over at him then quickly away, I tilted my head to the side and let my hair fall to hide my face and the rim of tears in my eyes. This was the first time we had alone together since he broke up with me. Ordinarily I would have responded with anger, but I felt too hopeless for that.
“She’s not going to make it is she?” I asked quietly.

"I don't know...I keep wanting to ask Kai if...if it becomes necessary if he wants me to take her...I have enough blood on my hands, and have enough I want to forget about my life...what is one more life if I can stop her suffering..." I ran a hand through my hair, not even looking at them though my eyes were on the pair of them.

Jemma:

“No!” I said instantly. “You can’t do that, there could be a chance, there’s always a chance. We got Kai back even after… You can’t take her away!”

Alex:

I came to myself a bit and I nodded. "Your right, I'm sorry. If I could give my soul for hers I would. But I don't think my ruined one would equal her bright one." I said quietly.

Jemma:

“I don’t think there is anyone who’s soul could match hers that would willingly give it.” I said with a sigh. “I need to talk to Aline about getting someone here who could help.” I said after a few minutes. I tilted my head up to the side when I heard the lock click from the door. “We should go.” I whispered quickly getting to my feet. I didn’t want to be caught snooping around.

I looked to the door then though I knew she wouldn't want me to touch her I grabbed her in a hug and practically tackled her to the wall and in turn into the shadow world. All she would have felt was a brief pressure to her back from my tackle. I let go of her immediately and scrambled backwards as I grit my teeth and clutched at my head.

Jemma:

I whirled around prepared to be angry but I paused. “Why has this gotten worse? You used to be able to control it better, what happened?” I asked, standing several steps away. “Where’s Kage?” I demanded, with anger in my voice now, though it wasn’t aimed at Alex.

Kage:

In an instant I was beside Alex. I knelt down though I did not touch him. "I am where I have always been. Between him and his power. But I simply guarded the door, used as a funnel between him and his power. If he chooses not to use me then I can do nothing but sit back and watch and pray." I lifted shadowy eyes to her, "But who are you to direct anger to me. I do not know you. I have only met you once when Alex brought you to meet me."

Jemma:

My frustration was plane. Michael had said he wouldn’t remember me, he might as well not even be connected. Kage was just a ghost to me. But here I was with two of the men that had hurt me, one far more than the other. There only needed to be two more to make a complete set.
“Because you’re not helping him! He need’s you and you’re not helping.” I burst out, almost yelling.

Kage:

I turned from Alex and advanced towards her, "You think I would not want to help him? He is a part of me, I yearn to help him. I want nothing more than to save him, but I can not. I am powerless, because I have to do as I am told!" I hissed out.

Alex:

"I asked him not to..." I said quietly, my voice breaking through the conversation.

Jemma:

I put a hand out. “Don’t come any closer.” I growled at Kage. “Alex, why would you do that? Why would you refuse his help? Its what he’s there for!”

Alex:

"Because I want to die..." I whispered. Kage whirled around and marched right up to me, swinging a kick that sent me flying across the space. I landed and rolled to a stop with a grunt.

Jemma:

“Stop that!” I yelled at Kage then went over to Alex. “That is asinine. Do you realize how selfish that is? Besides if you really wanted to die why not just do it? There’s no point in telling Kage to not help you, you’re hurting other people. There’s no point in torturing yourself over what has happened in the past. For Heaven’s sake, let it go.” I I told him sternly and helped him up to his feet.

Alex:

I laughed softly, "I have tried. Watch." I pulled a knife out of my pocket and tried to draw it across my throat before she could stop me. I didn't even bleed as my powers reacted and devoured the metal before it could even harm me. I showed her the blade of the knife and the now flat blade of metal where once a sharp blade was. Kage even chimed in, "His powers won't let him kill himself. It learned through the previous host. Anything that will cause harm to the host will be stopped or the host will be immediately moved to the shadows."

I nodded and tossed the knife aside before turning my back to Jemma. "Have you ever killed anyone before Jemma? Can you remember the faces of those you killed? What they were doing as they lived the final moments." I held my head for a moment as all around the walls, ceiling and floor faces began to appear showing faces of mortal terror. "I remember each one because I feel it happening...In an instant I feel what they feel at the time of death...I'm tired of killing people. I'm tired of remembering it all. I want to forget everything."

Jemma:

“That is life. I wish I could help you forget but I can’t. You just have to suck it up. Try harder. Maybe if you stopped dwelling in the past you’d be more in control of your powers. Live for someone else for a change.” I said bluntly. “It’s not all about you.”

Alex:

I turned and looked at her blankly. Between me and her another me and her appeared. It was a part of our history, something that had happened soon after she had started to push me away. The shadow me held a card behind his back, the card decorated with a small heart on the front. "Hey Jemma? Can I talk to you for a second? I have something for you." The shadow said to the shadow Jemma. The Shadow Jemma's mouth moved but no sound came out before she stormed off. "But...I made something for you..." the shadow me called softly but to no avail. The scene changed to a shadow me kneeling in horror before a brace of rabbits, "O-oh no...w-what have I...what did I do?" It backed away in terror before it vanished and appeared before a shadow Jemma in a tree. "J-Jemma...I...I...I need..." But the shadow Jemma's mouth moved for a moment and then it took off in flight. Once it was gone the shadow me dropped to his knees and stared at its hands before it all faded away.

"You're right...I should live for someone else...it isn't all about me..." I murmured before turning my back to her again. Behind her a rip opened, "Go."

Jemma:

I stood there for a split second before everything just boiled over.  My temper had never been something I had a strong hold on, and when I was already riled up and something else upset me, I was going to explode.  So I snapped.
“Okay!  I get it!  I hurt you!  I know!”  I shouted at his back.  My voice was thick and straining with strong emotion.  “I’m so, so sorry!  But that’s in the past now!  There is nothing I can do to take it back!  And you can’t keep throwing it in my face every goddamned time I’m around you!  Let it fucking go!” I was screaming my words so loud that it was the only thing I could hear in my head.  
“God, where would I be if I held on to everything an ex ever did to hurt me?!  You have to let it go!  You can’t hold onto this, you’re tearing me apart and you’re poisoning yourself!  Please just let it go!”  I was hysterical and chocking back sobs at the end.  I covered my face with my hands and focused on breathing in heavy breaths.  My head was pounding from screaming.
“God, Alex, you’re tearing me apart.”  I moaned through my hands.

I turned to look at her, my eyes showing all of my loneliness and sadness though I cry. I was tearing her apart? How...why...I had assumed she didn't care. I could only look at her, torn between making her leave or going over and comforting her. I settled for the halfway mark. I took a few steps towards her closing the distance between us and I left the rift open should she want to use it. "I'm sorry..." I whispered softly.

Jemma:

It took me a few moments to calm down enough to speak. I ran my hands through my hair and let them fall. My eyes were watery but I had managed not to let any tears fall.
“Me too.” I said quietly, looking off to the side. “I really am. I never meant to hurt you the way I did. I cared about you a lot. I should have handled things differently, but I can’t change that now. I’m not perfect, I know that. I mess up all the time.” I shrugged. I was emotionally drained and I had a headache.
“I hope Ira can make you happier than I did.” I said and flicked my eyes up to meet his for a moment. I gave a shaky sigh. “Yeah,” I muttered and turned to go.

Alex:

I rubbed my face for a moment, "I wouldn't know. I didn't start dating her for my sake. I did it for hers. I tried to put myself in her position. She can't touch anyone, be with anyone, do anything with anyone because she might kill them. I was the first person who was able to touch her skin." I sat down right where I was standing, hugging one knee to my chest. "I know what it is like to be lonely...so for her sake...I started courting her. But now she can touch others. She doesn't need me anymore. I stopped by Kat's room to say good bye to her."

Jemma:

I paused. “So what… You’re just going to leave?” I said flatly. I had been so close to leaving on a stable note…

Alex:

I nodded. "I was. When I lose control again..." I paused, fully aware that I had said when, not if. "...I don't want to be near anyone I care about. I hate myself enough with out having to deal with kill more people that I know and care for." I reached out a hand to touch her before I drew it back and held it close to myself.

"With you here, Kai will be fine. I know of no way to help Kat, though I wish her all the luck in the world." I turned my face away from her. "Ira can be with people now, can touch them, play with them. Her reason for needing me around is over. And for you...well....I was the one who screwed that up. I don't need your face or the others joining my sisters in my head..."

Jemma:

I worked my jaw and swallowed a lump in my throat. I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, that I cared about him still, that I didn’t want him to go, that Ira didn’t matter, that I needed someone too.
“Please don’t go.” I whispered. The words were out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying.

I lifted my eyes up to her surprise, loneliness, and curiosity flashing across my face. "Why not?" I asked softly, I didn't want to give myself any sort of false hope from her words. I was a danger to those I was around, I should leave...I had to leave....even if I didn't want to leave.

Jemma:

“Because I’m alone here. I mean, I have Kai, but He’s young and he doesn’t understand things. I need someone on my same page, someone I can trust. Everyone in this place hates me, except Aline, but she bothers me. I need someone to help me with Kat...” I couldn’t tell him that I just wanted him here, beyond anything else.